Why does a homosexual man refuse to call himself gay?

A candid and compassionate perspective on having lived a homosexual lifestyle before finding peace and authentic love in the Catholic Church

Daniel Mattson (image from Courage)

Daniel Mattson’s life was marked by constant turmoil between his faith in God and his sexual attractions toward other boys, beginning when he was 6 years old. Finding the conflict between his homosexual desires and the teachings of his church too great, he assumed he was gay, turned his back on God in anger and eventually began a relationship with another man. Yet freedom and happiness remained elusive until he discovered his true identity. In his brutally honest and frank debut book, WHY I DON’T CALL MYSELF GAY: How I Reclaimed My Sexual Identity and Found Peace, Mattson chronicles his journey of discovery that led him to understand how he was created and what he was created for.

Mattson believes he shouldn’t be reduced to the “feelings” that identify sexual orientation, nor be labeled by a term contrary to God’s plan for his life. Mattson shows that chastity is, in fact, part of the good news of the Gospel, and that the Catholic Church does welcome those with same-sex attractions, despite myths perpetuated by the media and gay-rights advocates.

Mattson provides a welcome voice of sanity among the muddled thinking of modern society that believes sexual identity is rooted in the realm of feelings and desires. WHY I DON’T CALL MYSELF GAY is a practical tool for living chastely, for those who are struggling with same-sex attraction and for those looking for pastoral resources.

“Daniel Mattson has written an honest account of the genuine struggles faced by those with same-sex attraction,” says Timothy Michael Cardinal Dolan, archbishop of New York. “Drawing upon a wealth of spiritual insights and wisdom from across our deep Catholic tradition, he shares with us how he has come to understand and accept God’s loving plan for his life, as well as the beauty and richness of the Church’s teaching on chastity. The tenderness and mercy of God is evident throughout and is a powerful reminder for all of us!”

Mattson provides a candid and compassionate perspective on having lived a homosexual lifestyle before finding peace and authentic love in the Catholic Church. His book is being hailed by several leading Cardinals and Bishops.

“I encourage many to read the following testimonial, which … bears witness to the mercy and goodness of God, to the efficacy of his grace, and to the veracity of the teachings of his Church,” says Cardinal Robert Sarah, from the foreword to WHY I DON’T CALL MYSELF GAY; author of God or Nothing.

Archbishop José H. Gomez, archbishop of Los Angeles, says: “Daniel Mattson has written a courageous, honest testimony about his struggles with same-sex attraction and his commitment to live with integrity and chastity according to the Church’s vision for human sexuality. This powerful book reminds us that we need to accompany our brothers and sisters in their struggles with compassion and love, patience and understanding.”

Full story at Christian Newswire.



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  1. Anne T. says:

    Now here is a man I like. He uses grown up terms for grown up men and others. One of the reasons I never use the term “gay” for those who just have same-sex attraction, or the ones who actually practice sodomy, is that it makes grown up men sound childish (not child like) and immature — like a bunch of children perpetually frolicking through a meadow taking no responsibility for anything.

  2. “Gay” is a political term and should not be used in place of “homosexual” which denotes a clinical condition. Best not to use language intended to mislead such as “gay”, “pro-choice”, etc.

  3. Daniel has found peace by abandoning himself to God and fleeing from unchastity. He is a man and is growing into his created sexuality more and more. Bless him. I suggest reading from http://www.richardperozich.com under REFLECTIONS the article “He Who Controls the Language Controls the Argument Truth Needs Clear Language”. It verifies Daniel’s experience.

  4. To Thomas Edward Miles, I care. I care about all my brothers and sisters who continue to suffer. We never really get over these attractions, or should I say that I must be compassionate. Oh if I could only shed my struggles, but instead I surrender to Christ what I cannot do myself. And Christ in his mercy takes them and suffers with me in my weakness. I care, I care, I care about these people who suffer.

  5. Margaret says:

    Dolan? You have to be kidding me. He has done plenty to further the “gay” agenda.

    • To my shame as his fellow priest, this is true, you are correct. Bishop Dolan would not have been proposed to the Vatican to be a bishop by Robert McElroy unless John furthered the agenda at St. John in Hillcrest and at St. Vincent in Mission Hills. Some other priests who wish to be bishops are now adding LGBTQ ministries at their parishes, when under bishop Brom, they eschewed such behavior. “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?” Jesus in Mark 8:36 My fellow Catholics, please protect yourself against slogans, euphemisms, sophistries from us clergy who have the authority to teach, guide and sanctify. If our teachings are not true, run to the Savior and to truth teachers. As a priest, I should…

      • Anonymous says:

        I think she’s referring to Tim Dolan, or at least that is who the article cites.

      • Fr. Richard… The “Dolan” referred to in the article … I think… is Cardinal Dolan the Archbishop of New York, not Bishop John Dolan in San Diego. For the record most of us in the LGBT community don’t see Cardinal Dolan as “pro gay” given his energetic opposition to gay marriage at the NY State legislature.

  6. Linda Maria says:

    Sounds like Daniel Mattson was blessed to find the True Catholic Faith, and give his life to Christ! He is not viewing himself narrowly, by the category of “gay,”– but lives as a mature, authentic Catholic, dedicated to Christ! Chastity is a key virtue, in living the Christian life. Christ is all-powerful, and He can do what we are powerless to do! He loves us, and died for us! In giving our lives to Him, and faithfully following as He says, accepting our sufferings with maturity, instead of babyish “rebellion”– Christ can then lead our tiny footsteps, all the way to Heaven!! This man ought to give lectures on his book, in San Francisco!

  7. As a priest, I should be able to be guided by my bishops. I do not feel this right now in the Catholic Church in 2017.

  8. Margaret says:

    I was speaking of CARDINAL Timothy Dolan!!!

    • Margret … what, pray tell has Cdl Dolan said or done that was pro gay?

      • C&H, where have you been?? Let’s just start with that “60 Minutes” interview about the 1st openly homosexual NFL player when he laughed off the opportunity to speak to the morality of active homosexual lifestyles. This Prince of the Church allows his parishes to conduct and facilitate special Masses, fundraisers, dances, and so-called Pride participation under the Catholic banner. He is being sued for covering a homosexual priest embezzlement scandal and with his consent, opened up the New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade to folks whose first identifying quality is their sexual oruientation. More of these “pro gay” examples are easily found but you must be open minded enough to realize that’s what they are, and it’s scandalous for…

  9. Bohemond says:

    “his energetic opposition to gay marriage at the NY State legislature.” That is completely false and laughable he offered little to no opposition, nor did he direct the parishes on this issue. He failed miserably

  10. So… Say an older woman comes up to me and kindly offers to set up a blind date with her nephew. After I say “I’m sure he’s a fine young man” do I 1) Lie and make up a non-existent boyfriend 2) Lie and say ” However, I plan to enter Religious life;” 3) “However,I’m same sex attracted; “3; “However I suffer from same sex attraction;” 4) “However I’m a sodomite; “5) “However, I’m gay” or 6) “However I’m a lesbian.”

    Just thought I’d ask.

    • Linda Maria says:

      C&H– not everyone goes on dates, or is looking for a spouse, or even a relationship! Some people do not want one! Some are too busy with work, or other activities! Some have Church annulments, and are raising kids, and do not want to date or to re-marry– or else, the are older, with their kids now grown up, and they want a quiet life to themselves. Some are also gay, and chaste, devout Christians, and love to share their religious faith with others! And some prefer to keep their life with God to themselves, as they may be too shy to share it with others! Your reasons for your decisions, are nobody’s business. If you say “no, thank you,” people should respect you!

      • Linda Maria says:

        I have known young men and women who mentioned that they were involved in Mission work overseas, in social services, teaching, nursing, etc.– and said that they felt it best to remain single, for the kind of difficult work, and dangerous work circumstances, that they committed their lives happily to, for love of God! At a parish church, when on leave to come back and visit family in the U. S., some people here, might ask if they either took private religious vows, or else were gay— as they never had married. Some people cannot understand those committed to serious endeavors, and not too available for frivolous social activities, like dating.

  11. As feminism denies the differences between the sexes, it ultimately must deny heterosexuality itself. As nature abhors a vacuum, once heterosexuality is denied, homosexuality proliferates. So feminism and homosexualism are 2 sides of the same coin, and sisters in arms against the rights of the unborn child.

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